Quotes

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.
           -- C. P. Snow

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.
           -- Willie Tyler

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.
           -- Howard Aiken
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
           -- Saint Augustine
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
           -- Larry Gelbart

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
           -- Ogden Nash
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
           -- Robert A. Humphrey

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
           -- Fred Allen

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
           -- Abraham Lincoln

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
           -- Bob Hope


You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.
           -- Eric Hoffer

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
 Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."
           -- Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown in "Peanuts"

Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable.
           -- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Prehistoric Ice Man, 1999Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.
           -- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
           -- David Russell
To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
           -- Robert Copeland
Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
           -- William Shakespeare

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.
           -- Charles Kuralt

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.
           -- Dwight D. Eisenhower

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
           -- Laurence J. Peter